My Personal Playbook: 8 Life-Changing Rules You Need to Try

Hey there! Ever feel like life is just… happening to you? Like you're caught in a current, just trying to keep your head above water? I've definitely been there. For a long time, I felt like I was winging it, bouncing from one thing to the next without much rhyme or reason. And while spontaneity has its moments (hello, surprise road trips!), I realized I needed a little more… intention. A framework. Some guiding principles to help me navigate this beautifully messy journey we call life.

Over time, through a lot of trial and error (emphasis on the error part sometimes!), I’ve cobbled together a set of personal "rules." These aren't rigid, unbreakable laws, mind you. They're more like friendly signposts, gentle reminders that help me stay aligned with the kind of person I want to be and the kind of life I want to live. And you know what? They’ve made a huge difference. So, I wanted to share them with you. Think of this as me passing along a well-loved, slightly dog-eared playbook. Maybe some of these will resonate, maybe they’ll inspire you to create your own, or maybe they’ll just give you something to ponder over your next cup of coffee.

Ready to dive in?

Rule #1: Embrace Imperfection – Seriously, It’s a Superpower.

Okay, let's be real. The pressure to be perfect is intense. Social media doesn't help, with its endless parade of highlight reels. For years, I chased this elusive ideal, whether it was the perfect project at work, the perfect workout routine, or even the perfect way to load the dishwasher (yes, I went there). And you know what it got me? Stressed. Anxious. And constantly feeling like I was falling short.

Then, I had this lightbulb moment. What if “perfect” isn’t the goal? What if “good enough” is actually… great? I started allowing myself to be a beginner, to make mistakes, to be a little messy. And guess what? Life got a whole lot more fun. I tried new hobbies without worrying about being an instant prodigy. I submitted work I was proud of, even if it wasn’t flawless. It was liberating!

Brené Brown, who is basically the queen of vulnerability and imperfection, says, “Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us, when in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.” Mic drop. When I finally started putting down that shield, I found I could actually soar a little. So, give yourself grace. Laugh at your blunders. Imperfection is human, and embracing it is where the real growth happens.

Rule #2: Curiosity Over Judgment – Keep That Inner Child Alive.

Remember when you were a kid, and everything was fascinating? A ladybug, a puddle, the way clouds formed shapes? That insatiable curiosity is a precious gift, but somewhere along the way, we often trade it for judgment – of ourselves, of others, of situations we don’t understand.

I consciously started trying to flip that switch. When I’d feel a wave of judgment rising – maybe about someone's choices or a new idea that seemed “weird” – I’d pause and ask, “What if I approached this with curiosity instead?” Instead of “That’s a terrible idea,” I’d try, “Hmm, tell me more about why you think that would work.” It’s amazing how this simple shift can transform interactions and open your mind.

It's like that old saying, often attributed to Walt Whitman but with various phrasings around, "Be curious, not judgmental." When I find myself making snap judgments, especially about people, I try to remember this. Curiosity leads to understanding, empathy, and connection. Judgment? It just builds walls. And who wants more walls?

Rule #3: The Energy You Put Out is the Energy You Get Back – Choose Wisely.

This one took me a while to truly internalize, but oh boy, is it powerful. Have you ever noticed how one negative person can bring down the mood of an entire room? Or how a genuine smile from a stranger can brighten your whole day? That’s energy in action.

I started paying more attention to my own energetic output. Was I complaining a lot? Was I focusing on problems instead of solutions? Was I radiating stress or calm? It wasn’t about faking positivity, but about consciously choosing where to focus my mental and emotional energy. If I’m constantly dwelling on the negative, I tend to attract more negativity. If I actively look for the good, for opportunities, for ways to uplift others, my whole experience shifts.

Oprah Winfrey often talks about this principle. One of her well-known sentiments is, "The energy of your mind is the essence of your life." It’s a reminder that what we broadcast, we receive. So, I try to be a radiator, not a drain. It’s not always easy, especially on tough days, but even a small effort to shift my energy can have a ripple effect, both for me and those around me.

Rule #4: Prioritize Rest – It’s Not a Luxury, It’s Fuel.

In our hustle-culture society, rest often gets a bad rap. It’s seen as laziness or a lack of ambition. I bought into that for a long time. I’d burn the candle at both ends, fueled by caffeine and the fear of missing out. The result? Burnout. Creative blocks. And a general sense of being perpetually frazzled.

Learning to truly prioritize rest – and I mean actual, restorative rest, not just scrolling through my phone in bed – has been a game-changer. This means scheduling downtime, protecting my sleep, and allowing myself moments of doing absolutely nothing without guilt. It felt counterintuitive at first, like I was being unproductive. But the truth is, rest is when our bodies and minds repair, recharge, and process. It’s when the best ideas often surface.

As Arianna Huffington, a huge advocate for sleep and well-being, stated, "We think, mistakenly, that success is the result of the amount of time we put in at work, instead of the quality of time we put in." Quality time requires a rested mind. So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck, the most productive thing you can do might just be to take a nap, go for a quiet walk, or simply unplug. Your future self will thank you.

Rule #5: Collect Moments, Not Just Things – The Real Treasures.

We live in a consumer-driven world. It's easy to get caught up in wanting the latest gadget, the trendiest clothes, the bigger house. And while there’s nothing wrong with enjoying material possessions, I’ve found that the things that truly enrich my life, the things I look back on with the most fondness, are rarely things at all. They’re moments.

A heartfelt conversation with a friend. Watching a breathtaking sunset. Laughing until my stomach hurts. Learning a new skill, even badly. These are the experiences that weave the rich tapestry of a life well-lived. I consciously started shifting my focus, and often my budget, towards creating and savoring these moments. Sometimes it’s a big trip, but more often it’s the small, everyday joys – a picnic in the park, a spontaneous dance party in the kitchen, calling a loved one just to say hi.

As the minimalist duo The Minimalists often say, "Love people, use things. The opposite never works." This really resonates with me. When I focus on experiences and connections, my sense of fulfillment skyrockets in a way that no material possession ever could.

Rule #6: Listen More Than You Speak – Everyone Has a Story.

This is a skill I’m constantly working on. It’s so easy, especially when we’re passionate about something or want to be helpful, to jump in with our own stories, advice, or opinions. But true connection, true understanding, comes from listening. Really listening.

I’ve found that when I make a conscious effort to quiet my own internal chatter and truly hear what someone else is saying – not just their words, but the emotions and experiences behind them – it’s incredibly powerful. People feel seen, heard, and valued. And I learn so much! Every single person has a unique perspective, a story shaped by their own journey.

Stephen R. Covey, in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," wisely advised, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." This has become a mantra for me in my interactions. When I focus on understanding the other person's viewpoint before trying to get my own across, conversations become more meaningful, conflicts de-escalate faster, and relationships deepen.

Rule #7: Progress, Not Perfection (Again, But For Goals!) – Tiny Steps Win the Race.

Yes, this is a cousin to Rule #1, but it deserves its own spotlight, especially when it comes to achieving our goals. How many times have you set a big, ambitious goal, only to feel overwhelmed and give up before you even really started? I’ve lost count for myself!

The antidote I’ve found is to focus on small, consistent steps – on progress, not immediate perfection or massive leaps. Want to write a book? Start with one page, or even just one paragraph, a day. Want to get fitter? Begin with a 10-minute walk. These tiny actions build momentum. They create a sense of accomplishment that fuels further action. Before you know it, those small steps add up to significant distances.

James Clear, author of "Atomic Habits," champions this idea beautifully: "Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become." Each small step, no matter how insignificant it may seem, is a vote for the version of yourself that achieves that goal. It’s about the journey, the consistency, and the slow but steady transformation.

Rule #8: Be Kind – To Others, and Crucially, To Yourself.

If there’s one rule that underpins all the others, it’s this one. Kindness. It costs nothing, yet its value is immeasurable. A kind word, a thoughtful gesture, a moment of compassion – these things can change someone’s day, and sometimes, even their life.

And just as importantly, if not more so, is extending that same kindness to ourselves. We are often our own harshest critics. We berate ourselves for mistakes, dwell on our perceived flaws, and hold ourselves to impossible standards. Learning to practice self-compassion – to treat myself with the same understanding and kindness I would offer a struggling friend – has been one of the most profound shifts in my well-being.

The Dalai Lama often speaks to this, saying, "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." This simple yet profound statement is a constant reminder. When I lead with kindness, towards myself and others, life just feels… better. More connected. More meaningful. It softens the edges of the tough stuff and amplifies the joy in the good stuff.

So, there you have it – eight of the rules that I try to live by. They’re not always easy to follow, and I certainly don’t get them right all the time. But they serve as my compass, guiding me towards a life that feels more authentic, joyful, and fulfilling.

Maybe some of these resonated with you, or perhaps they’ve sparked some ideas for your own personal playbook. What are the rules you live by? What principles guide your journey? I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. After all, we’re all in this together, figuring it out one day, one rule, at a time.